I have something to tell you, something I could have shared weeks ago. I got all giddy and wanted to share, then I held back because I didn’t want to jinx myself, then I had to work really hard to just be content.
Aidan had a morning without seizures. None. Zero as opposed to the 5-10 I usually see before school.
It gets better.
The following night he ate dinner. ATE, as in, scooped the food and brought it to his mouth all by himself. Aidan worked hard for this skill and achieved it a long time ago, then seizures stole it. They stole something he worked hard for and it made me a little crazy. Ok…a lot crazy.
I wanted to tell you on a thankful thursday because I was excited and incredibly grateful and feeling oh so positive about everything. And then I didn’t want to tell you because, of course, more seizures came and I didn’t want my gratitude to be so fleeting or to not matter at all. And then I got greedy.
It was only one morning without seizures and two dinners eaten independently. I want more, even when I’m trying so hard to be content and thankful for those small moments that felt quite big.
I’m not really content. I’m so very thankful…. and hesitant… and greedy. It feels a lot like hope…somehow.
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So what are you thankful for today?
sounds like motherhood.
I love you, my friend. I’m grateful for the ability to read your blog and get to see a little part of your heart this afternoon.
Ugh. I totally know how that goes. It’s so hard to just be *happy* with the things you’ve wanted because once they happen they show you how much further you still have to go.
Awesome! Stay hopeful – it’s okay to want more. After all, you’re only human.
Wow, that is exciting! let’s work for the longterm seizure-free times. Really good to hear. P
I so understand! I’m grabbing your button to add to my collection!