Gosh, we’ve had a really complex relationship over the past few years. It’s hard for me to remember each morning if I love you or hate you. After all, you’ve been very patient with me being so finicky and wanting second opinions. Sometimes a girl just can’t make up her mind, right? But you’ve have moments of stunning stupidity as well. Remember when you said not everyone needs to sleep in a modified bed, and I was all, “Yeah, no duh.” I got all huffy and tattled on you to Big Brother. Perhaps we should start working on our trust issues.
Then recently you told me that hygiene isn’t medically necessary and I can take my shower chair and shove it. Hygiene not medically necessary? Really? So I just told all of your friends that you don’t wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. And since you’ll clearly be needing brain surgery, I’m going to tell your surgeon not to bother scrubbing in, because, you know, not medically necessary.
Just when I feel like I want to wrap my arms around your little neck, you send me sweet love notes like the one I received today. You’re sending me a shower chair!!! I understand that sometimes you just need time to think through your decisions. Do you know what my people did while you were sitting around…. thinking? They built a house. Yup. That happened. I’m not holding a grudge though because I think you may have mentioned the shower chair is coming with chocolates and roses too.
I’m so excited that I decided to do something nice for you too. I’ve always thought it was sad that we don’t have a song, so I asked my friend Pink to write one for us. I can do that because my brother opened for her so, no big deal.
I know it’s good times ahead for us.
(language warning because seizures and insurance make me swear. Also, subscribers will need to click though to blog to view video)